Pete Davidson has been called a “daddy” on the internet so many times, but soon, he’ll have a human baby to legitimize the title. The Saturday Night Live alum and girlfriend Elsie Hewitt, an actor, are expecting their first child together, they announced Wednesday via Hewitt’s Instagram feed.
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“welp now everyone knows we had sex,” Hewitt captioned the carousel of photos, the first of which features a shirtless Davidson cuddling Hewitt, in a white tank top and boxer shorts, engaging in what experts label the Vertical Big Spoon There’s a Baby In There Protocol, complete with requisite lower-belly cradling (one of his hands, both of hers), beatific gaze (hers), nose nuzzling a temple (his nose, her temple), and backdrop of the couple’s non-human babies (Davidson’s Doublesoul sock collaboration and extensive VHS collection, including The Mask, Porky’s, Porky’s Revenge, and the double-tape box set of Titanic to name just a few).
Congratulations to that trove of physical media on its promotion to Big Taper. Mommy and Zaddy won’t love you any less.
Reached by Vanity Fair, a rep for Davidson confirmed the news.
The status and reaction of the decommissioned Staten Island Ferry that Davidson co-owns with Colin Jost is unknown as of yet.
Slides further on in the carousel feature a video of Davidson and Hewitt at the doctor’s office getting an ultrasound, and a still photo of an ultrasound. Among the 11 total slides are memes from Love Island and Spongebob Square Pants, several depictions of the two hugging, and some tandem sheet mask use. Skincare; childcare.
The couple have been dating since at least March, when they were photographed kissing in the ocean in Palm Beach, Florida. Was there tongue? Yes, there was. We saw their tongues touching outside their mouths. There was tongue. Aquatic smooches have since escalated into the pair moving in together, as People reported in May. It’s like the song goes: First comes tongues, then comes roommates, then, at an undisclosed later time, comes baby in a baby carriage.
Davidson, 31, has undergone a series of public, relatively short-lived relationships (Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian, Chase Sui Wonders, and others), as well as a series of public discussions of his allegedly relatively long penis. While promoting her album Sweetener in 2018, then-fiancée Grande posted a now-deleted response tweet to a fan asking how long “pete”—which ended up being the title of a track on the album—was.
“Like 10 inches? …. Oh fuck …. I mean … like a lil over a minute,” she wrote.
The internet, with the help of Allison P. Davis, quickly pronounced Davidson to have BDE: Big Dick Energy. It’s a lifestyle, a mindset, everyone insisted, and possession of a penis, whatever the size, is no prerequisite.
Years later, Kardashian dabbled in the lore of Davidson’s no-no zone; the two first met at her October 2021 SNL hosting gig and shared an in-scene kiss.
“It was just a vibe,” she later explained on a June 2022 episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. She called SNL and asked for Davidson’s number. “I wasn’t even thinking like ‘Oh my god I’m gonna be in a relationship with him.’ I was just thinking…I heard about this BDE. I need to get out there. I need to just, like, jump start my…I was just basically DTF.”
It’s a wide world of acronyms, that’s for sure.
Ahead of his transition to BDE: The D Stands for Dad, Davidson has also pulled a bit of a Benjamin Button and gotten many of his tattoos removed. Next stop: A practical sun visor and cargo shorts, Baby Bjorn strapped to his chest? At this point, anything’s possible.
