Woman Says Cousin Can’t Stay with Her. Dad Calls Her ‘Selfish’

A woman turns to the Reddit community for advice following a complicated family situation involving her cousin’s move to the UK. She shares her frustration after her dad assumed her cousin will be living with her and her mom, despite her mom having already made her stance clear.

“I live with my mum, and my relationship with my dad is separate,” she explains in her post, giving readers a glimpse into the dynamic. Her parents divorced 10 years ago after what she describes as “a messy and traumatic relationship.”

She mentions that her mother has since distanced herself from that side of the family. However, her mom remains polite and cordial with her ex-in-laws when necessary.

The situation grows even more tense as the family continues to grieve the recent loss of her maternal grandmother. “To make things even more emotionally difficult, my mum recently lost her own mum,” she shares, making it clear that her mother is already going through a tough time.

When news of her cousin’s move came up, her mom directly told her aunt that she would not be housing her niece. “She said my dad should take responsibility for his niece,” the woman writes, adding that, as far as her mother was concerned, the matter was already settled.

But despite this, her cousin, aunt and dad all seemed to assume her cousin would stay at her mother’s house. This became clear when her cousin casually told her, “I’d be picking her up from the airport.”

Though she doesn’t mind picking her cousin up, she clarified that she would be dropping her off at her dad’s. To her surprise, her cousin looked confused and said, “Nooo I’m coming to your house.”

When she asked if her mother knew about this arrangement, her cousin insisted their mothers had spoken. However, when OP checked with her mom, she quickly found out that wasn’t the case.

“My mum was like, ‘I told them your dad should house her,’ ” she recalls. This leaves her feeling caught in the middle of a situation that wasn’t hers to begin with.

Trying to straighten things out, she relayed everything to her dad. But her dad says that his living situation isn’t ideal, as he lives with his girlfriend in a flat share.

“I said, ‘She’ll have to stay with you,’ and he looked shocked,” she writes, clearly frustrated. He responded, “Isn’t she your cousin?” She didn’t hesitate to clap back. “Isn’t she your niece?” she replied.

She emphasizes in the post that it isn’t her place to offer to house anyone, especially not at her mother’s house. “My mum has no obligation to house her ex-husband’s relatives, especially not while grieving her own mother,” she explains.

She points out that her mom was clear and respectful from the beginning, and yet, somehow, the issue has ended up back at their doorstep. OP admits she cares about her cousin and wants to support her, but she feels trapped.

“I feel caught in the middle of something that was never mine to handle,” she says, voicing her internal struggle. She wonders in the post if she’s wrong for backing her mom or if she should be doing more.

In a final twist, she shares that she won’t even be able to pick up her cousin from the airport after all. “She is landing while I’m away on holiday,” she reveals, explaining that she already told her dad he would have to handle it.

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But her dad doesn’t take that news well, responding with attitude and frustration. “He just gave me so much attitude, asking me why I didn’t tell my cousin to choose a different flight and why I didn’t let her know before she booked the flights that I’d be away,” she shares.

Now, she’s left questioning her role in the situation, wondering if she’s in the wrong for standing her ground.