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- A woman made a Reddit post explaining why she feels she might have to back out of her friend’s destination wedding.
- The woman’s friend asked her to be one of her bridesmaids before a date or costs for the nuptials were determined. However, being as the friend is the first to get married in the woman’s friend group, she said yes.
- As time has gone on and more details have been determined, costs are shaking out to be in the multi-thousands, which is more than the original poster can afford.
You can’t put a price on friendship—unless it’s a crazy expensive destination wedding. Then, you might start weighing costs. At least, this one woman on Reddit is.
A user by the handle Laurbeely posted on the the subreddit “r/wedding” last month explaining why she is considering backing out of her friend’s bridal party. Laurbeely explained that her friend got engaged last summer, and within a week of the engagement, she asked Laurbeely to be one of her bridesmaids.
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“Of course, I said yes, she’s the first friend in the group to get engaged and I was so excited, I knew there were costs when it came to being a bridesmaid, but I clearly had no idea what I was signing up for,” she wrote, noting that her friend had asked before a date was set for the nuptials.
A few weeks after, the bride set the date of her ceremony for November 2026. Laurbeely knew her friend wanted a destination wedding, so she recruited her travel agent mom to do some research. “My mom suggested some affordable resorts in Mexico, especially since the bride wanted 85+ people there,” Laurbeely wrote. “But my friend chose one of the more expensive resorts and sent out save-the-dates with an RSVP link showing the price: about $3,000 per person for a week at the resort.”
Laurbeely said she RSVP’d yes for her partner and herself, despite thinking $3,000 was “steep.” She said she figured she would have time to save up the money. However, after factoring in a bridesmaid’s dress, bachelorette trip, spray tans, hair, makeup, and more, Laurbeely said the final cost was adding up to more than $4,000 for herself and $3,000 for her partner. Despite the increase, she decided she would “make it work.”
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Most recently, she found out the resort her friend picked is going to be more expensive than expected. She can’t get an exact quote until November 2025, but projections show it could be $5,000 per person, not including the dress or other additions.
To add another layer to the dilemma, Laurbeely shared she and her partner recently designed an engagement ring together, meaning a proposal is “likely coming this year” and they’ll have to save for their own wedding. “Dropping $10,000+ for the two of us to attend someone else’s wedding seems SO extreme,” she wrote.
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“I’m considering telling my friend that if the final cost is over $4,000 per person, I’ll need to back out of the bridal party. I’ll still happily attend the bachelorette party and help her celebrate in other ways, but I just can’t financially justify attending the actual wedding,” she explained, adding that another one of her friend’s bridesmaid feels the same way.
“So… would it be really shitty of me to back out once we get the final numbers? If you were the bride in this scenario how would you take it?” she concluded the post.
Many users flocked to Laurbeely’s support in the comments, with one handle Salty_Thing3144 saying those prices are “outrageous.” Others echoed the sentiment, also noting it would be best to back out sooner rather than later.
