Woman Tells Boyfriend Not to ‘Expect Anything Financially’ from Her

A woman was very upfront about finances with her boyfriend, telling him not to “expect anything financially” from her.

In a since-deleted Reddit post, the woman explained that she has been with her boyfriend, both 24, for over two years.

The woman shares that at the beginning of the relationship, her boyfriend would come over once a week. However, about a year in, he started coming over four to five days a week, and had “a key and space in [her] closet.”

As that number gradually increased, the woman decided that her boyfriend would pay for all their dates and other expenses since he spent so much time at her house.

“During this time we would go to the cinema, eat out, etc. I didn’t offer to pay when we went out and expected him to pay,” she shares. “This was because he didn’t have any contribution towards the house. He didn’t pay the bills, didn’t help with chores, didn’t clean after himself and only brought groceries which mainly included snacks for himself which I don’t eat much from.”

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However, after nearly six months of this tradeoff, her boyfriend told her that he “felt the financial burden and wanted to go 50/50.”

“I told him that I didn’t understand his reasoning, but agreed to it. When that happened I told him to get his things out of my house. He can come over only during the day, but the only thing he will be offered is water, because he doesn’t contribute,” the woman shares, noting that she became “obtuse to anything that required extra energy” aside from her own expenses.

“I didn’t buy any gifts outside of his birthday, he was only allowed to use one cup and plate in my house, I didn’t offer him any food,” the woman continues. “This went on for three to four months and then he made a comment that he doesn’t feel welcome in my house and wanted to go back. We had a discussion and we then agreed to go 70/30 financially.”

While the boyfriend often made comments about “having to pay for everything,” she “chose to ignore it.”

The poster noted that, despite their agreement, she spoiled him on his birthday, but that night he told her that if she “expected him to pay for everything then [she] should be in a relationship with someone else.” 

The poster was “hurt” by the comment as she “contributes in other ways financially.”

“A few days later I told him that it’s best not to have financial expectations from anyone,” she writes. “If there is a shared activity each will pay their own, if one person doesn’t have the money the activity will be cancelled. Also he shouldn’t expect anything from me that requires money to attain.”

After sharing this on Reddit, many of the people in the comments section of the post told the woman she should break up with her boyfriend, as “it doesn’t sound like you even like each other.”

“Why even continue this charade of a relationship?” one person asked.

“This is a stupidly unhealthy relationship. I can’t imagine nickel and diming someone I’m supposedly in love with. I can’t imagine having anyone over to my house as a guest and not allowing them to eat. Do you even like your bf?” another person remarked.