NEED TO KNOW
- A man wants to cut his long hair, but his girlfriend fears he’ll look like her dad
- She associates his new hobbies — fishing and hunting — with her father, too
- He questions whether her attraction is tied to his more feminine appearance
A man seeks support from the Reddit community following a disagreement with his partner over cutting his long hair.
The 25-year-old musician, who has had long hair since he was 16, explains that it’s become a defining part of his identity — but he’s ready for a change.
“It’s super hard to maintain and painful,” he writes in his post, noting that while it was once a big source of compliments and attention, it no longer feels like him. “I’m over it, I want it gone.”
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His partner, a 26-year-old woman, doesn’t share the same excitement over the potential haircut. She tells him that if he cuts it, he’ll look like her father, who, according to the poster, is “55, like 5’3 height, absolutely no resemblance.”
While the poster insists he has “a great hair line” and isn’t going bald, his girlfriend can’t seem to separate the image of short hair from that of her dad. “She says ‘because I fish and have campfires in the backyard, being bald will remind her too much of her dad.’ ”
To him, this reasoning is frustrating and hard to understand. “Which in my opinion is f—ing ridiculous,” he shares. “Every man in history fished and lit campfires.”
The man, who describes himself as having very thick and curly hair, is considering shaving it off, not completely bald, but enough to reset and find a new style as it grows.
“My thinking is just shave it all off… and work from there as it grows to find the hair style that I want,” he writes.
While he loves his partner “more than anything” and notes that she is “best friend,” he’s beginning to wonder if there’s a deeper reason behind her strong reaction.
“I mean no prejudice by this whatsoever but she is bisexual and has mostly had female partners,” he writes. “I have long hair and very clear but tanned skin (Armenian genes lol). I wonder if she’s attracted to me because I look more feminine.”
As his interests shift to more traditionally masculine hobbies, he’s noticed a change in how she seems to see him. “Now I’m getting into fishing/hunting and generally what’s considered more male oriented interests she’s not attracted to me in the same way,” he adds.
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The conflict came to a head during a recent fight, where he felt unheard. “We had a fight tonight and was overwhelmed by her reason and not understanding mine so I’m posting my thoughts here,” he writes.
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Support from Reddit commenters poured in, with many siding with the poster’s point of view. “Hair is one of those things that grows back,” one commenter says. “If you’re tired of maintaining it and want a change, you should do it.”
Another user offers a more balanced approach, suggesting he include her in the process while still making the decision for himself. “It’s your hair, it’s your choice,” the commenter writes. “She’s your partner and taking on her feedback is the responsible thing to do. You can talk it through together and look at short hair options that may scare her less.”
Though the poster has yet to reveal whether he’s taken the plunge with the haircut, he remains firm in his desire to make a change.