Single Dad Lets 12-Year-Old Daughter Get Thong Underwear, Gets Backlash from Other Parents

A father to a tween girl is grappling with a challenging parenting moment.

In a post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A——” forum, the father relayed his predicament: His 12-year-old daughter recently asked him if she could start wearing thong underwear. At first, his gut reaction was to say no, as he always considered it “sexy” underwear, but after his daughter explained her reasoning, he decided to give her the go-ahead.

But now the parents of his daughter’s friends are complaining, and the father is questioning his decision.

He shared that it’s been about seven years since he lost his wife, his daughter’s mother, in a car accident, but the father feels he’s done his best when it comes to his daughter’s milestones — the “welcome to womanhood” moments, he wrote. He’s had a girlfriend for the last few months, though her presence hasn’t impacted his parenting style.

When his daughter first asked about wearing a thong, the father was taken aback — but then she explained it was to hide the underwear lines while wearing yoga pants. She then demonstrated to the father why a thong would be most appropriate for the style: Briefs and boy shorts both bunched up underneath.

“She also explained that she felt like if anything, these lines and awkward aesthetics would draw more attention to her body,” the father wrote, and he agreed to get his daughter some thong underwear so she could feel more comfortable in her clothes and with her body.

He felt good about his decision until one of the parents of his daughter’s friend called him, extremely upset. She said his daughter was showing her thong underwear to boys at school and accused the father of “allowing [his] daughter to become a hoe.” She then alleged he was sexualizing her and making his daughter into a bad influence for her friends.

Deeply unsettled by the claims, the father talked to his daughter after school. She said she never showed anyone her underwear, and only her friends knew about it in the first place because they noticed the difference when she was wearing yoga pants. The daughter surmised that her friends likely went home and asked their parents to make the change too, which may have set off the series of events.

The father then told his girlfriend about the predicament, and she said he should have spoken to other parents before giving his daughter the okay.

“When one girl in a group starts wearing makeup, they all want to start. When one starts wearing thongs, they all want to start. When one is allowed around boys unsupervised, they all want that freedom,” he recalled his girlfriend saying. “You need to discuss these things with other parents because when one girl takes a step toward womanhood, they all want to take that same step immediately.”

He understood that perspective, but ultimately thought it would have been weirder to ask other parents if it was okay for his daughter to start wearing thongs.

In the comments, Reddit users supported the father’s decision and agreed it would have been a bad move to discuss the issue with other parents first.

“Can you imagine if [he] just called up his daughter’s friend’s moms and was like ‘Hey there, can you tell me if your teenaged daughter is wearing thongs yet?'” one wrote. “It would definitely come off wrong, and it would be mortifying to his daughter.”