Ex Upset Man Won’t Support Her Kid from Another Relationship Post-Split

A man is questioning whether he was in the wrong to stop financially supporting his ex-wife’s 6-year-old daughter following their split.

In a post shared to Reddit’s “Am I The A——?” forum, a man opened up his divorce — and got candid about his dilemma that impacts his ex-wife, former stepdaughter and daughter.

“I was with my ex-wife Amy for four years. We have an 18-month-old daughter Wynne. We got divorced last year. Amy has a 6-year-old daughter Ella whose dad isn’t involved,” the Redditor explained.

According to the dad, he paid for almost everything for his wife, who was a stay-at-home mom, Ella and then their newborn during their marriage.

“The whole time I treated Ella no different than I treated Wynne. I got her everything she needed and I cared for her as a parent should,” he shared. “Once we split up we split 50/50 custody of Wynne. I pay insurance as well as pay her monthly payments by choice as I make more money than her.”

“I want our daughter to have a comfortable life,” he added.

However, the Redditor shared that an issue arose when he told his ex-wife that he no longer wanted to “fund Ella’s life.” He explained, “When I pick up Wynne, it’s not a secret. We go off and do fun stuff like the zoo or what ever else we can get into. Wynne also often gets new clothes and shoes.”

“Amy feels it’s not fair that I won’t maintain Ella’s life anymore after 4 years of doing it. That I’ve abandoned my ‘daughter.’ I feel she’s no longer my responsibility,” he wrote.

The man then shared that both his ex-wife and mother were angry at him for acting this way, but still argued that he shouldn’t have to pay for everything his step-daughter needs.

“I know Amy cannot afford to give Ella the life we use to give her, but why should I have to do it? I talked to my mom about it and she thinks I’m a massive a—— as she sees Ella as her granddaughter just as much as she sees Wynne,” he finished, acknowledging that if he was in the wrong, he would “eat it” and continue to help Ella.

Although there were some differing opinions from the Reddit community about who was in the wrong, many argued that Ella probably views her stepfather as a member of her family, and that he should continue to care for her as he always has.

“You’ve been this kids dad for most of her life. You gave her a sister,” one commenter wrote. “But now that you’re not with her mother, she’s no longer your daughter? I would say this is worse than the bio-dad not being involved because you chose to come into this child’s life, and now you’re discarding her.”

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Another person with a dissenting opinion argued that the man has no financial obligation when it comes to his step-daughter.

“Say he did/does care for her? I think he can occasionally take Ella out with his daughter, but why should he pay a dime? Why shouldn’t his ex-wife be pursuing child support from the child’s actual father?” the user wrote.

“Whatever went on between you and your ex-wife, I’m sorry, that sucks,” another commenter who was in favor of supporting his stepdaughter wrote. “However, while you may not be the biological father of your elder daughter, you are the only father that girl has ever known or loved. She didn’t hurt you. None of this is her fault.”

“You suddenly excluding her from your life, only showing your care and love to your biological daughter, is unbelievably cruel to that poor kid. She doesn’t understand. She’ll never understand,” the person continued. “From her perspective, her mom and dad got divorced, which is already incredibly difficult for a young kid, and now her dad only loves her little sister. That must be so confusing for her, and so painful. Frankly, I don’t understand how can you do it.”