Mom Objects to Cake-Smashing Tradition at Son’s Birthday

A mother seeks advice from the Reddit community after clashing with her husband about their baby’s upcoming first birthday. She explains that her husband is “really adamant about pushing the baby’s face into the cake,” a tradition he had growing up that she feels strongly against.

The mom shares that she is worried her son might not enjoy it, writing, “for one the baby may laugh but he might also cry. Also, it’s his birthday and we shouldn’t be doing anything that he may not enjoy.” She emphasizes that her little boy is sensitive, as most babies are, and she doesn’t want him to end up in tears on what should be a happy day.

Her husband, she explains, is Mexican and grew up where, in his family, this was a tradition for every birthday. Still, she points out the irony in his insistence, since “he himself told me he ALWAYS hated it as a kid and it made him angry.” To her, that feels like reason enough not to repeat it with their son.

She admits she doesn’t fully understand why people find the act amusing. “I get it’s a family tradition but it’s not something I’m comfortable with and I don’t understand what’s so funny about it,” she says. For her, the thought of forcing cake into her baby’s face feels more cruel than celebratory.

At the same time, she acknowledges the complexity of the situation. “My son isn’t just mine and technically this is part of his family’s tradition on his father’s side so [I don’t know],” she writes. Even though she feels protective of her child’s feelings, she recognizes that her husband’s traditions are also a factor.

Still, she has been clear with her husband that she does not want this to happen. “I told him if he does do it, I will be angry and that he needs to tell his family that they aren’t allowed to do it themselves either,” she explains.

Her concern only grows when she overhears him talking about buying two cakes — one small one just for the baby — which makes her suspect he may try to sneak the tradition in anyway.

Her post ends with her asking the community for advice, wondering if she is “just being a jerk and making a big deal of nothing.” To her, the issue isn’t about resisting tradition for the sake of it, but about protecting her child from something that could be scary or humiliating. She is determined to talk to her husband again before the birthday to remind him of her feelings.

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The comments quickly fill with support for her stance, with one user bluntly telling her, “I don’t understand why your husband is so eager to do this if he hated it when it was done to him. As the saying goes, tradition is peer pressure from dead people, and I can’t see why this one is so precious that he’d do what he hated as a child, and anger his wife.”

Her passion is evident as she continues in the reply to another comment, “My blood is boiling at the thought because our son is so sweet and he’s been through so much since birth (nicu, surgeries) so he doesn’t need anything else to be upset over.”

As her son’s first birthday approaches, the mother remains firm in her belief that his happiness comes above all else.