October is National Bullying Prevention Month. For many years, I have done anti-bullying PSA campaigns to contribute to the discourse, but truth be told, it was hard to find a way in 2025 that didn’t feel too earnest or treacly. Sadly, we still see bullying behavior everywhere. If it isn’t the FCC bullying Jimmy Kimmel, it’s LGBTQ+ rights under attack, and even Kanye West’s forthcoming album, Bully. What could I do this (fucking) year that didn’t feel tone-deaf, but could somehow help?
In early September, I texted Richard Christiansen, founder of lifestyle and wellness brand Flamingo Estate, to ask him if, like some recent collaborations—Pamela Anderson’s pickles, Laura Dern’s olive oil, and LeBron James’s honey—we could join forces on a candle in support of National Bullying Prevention Month with a small portion of the proceeds benefiting some anti-bullying organizations. Candles have always been something that help me ground and find my center—especially in tough times. I burn them daily in my home as a reminder of warmth, and the fragrance transports me. I travel with candles, gift them often (yes, even after I read that hosts often think a candle has been regifted), and always have one lit near my bath. But more than anything, candles symbolize a light in the dark. “I love that idea. God knows I had enough bullying at school,” Christiansen replied in seconds. “And no—not a small portion of the proceeds. ALL OF THE PROCEEDS [can go to the charities].” (Yes, get yourself a friend like Richard Christiansen.)
While I was initially flattered that Christiansen had responded so quickly to me (although in case you forgot, I am charming after all), I came to learn there was a deeper meaning behind his enthusiasm.
Growing up in rural Australia, one of two boys raised by farmer parents, Christiansen experienced incessant bullying at school. “I was a soft, gentle, gay kid who grew up in a very hypermasculine, sort of rural world. My dad sent us to a school that had a cadet-like program—I think to toughen us up,” he explained over the phone. “I was very aware that I was just not like the other boys. My brother and I both were bullied pretty heavily all the way through high school.”
And so the idea behind Flamingo Estate’s newest candle, Blossoming Camellia, materialized. It combines white camellia, lemon, vanilla, and a little bit of clove for a fresh but spicy scent. As promised, proceeds are in support of four global anti-bullying organizations: the Tyler Clementi Foundation and Hetrick-Martin Institute in the US; the Diana Award’s Anti-Bullying Programme in the UK; and Project Rockit in Australia. All of these organizations help young people who are being bullied and teach their peers how to avoid bystander behavior. According to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children (SPCC), “When bystanders intervene, bullying stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time.”
