It’s not, by any means, the hottest take in the literary world to say, “Gee, a lot of Kevin Federline’s memoir was about Britney Spears, huh?” Federline and Spears married in September 2004 after a whirlwind courtship of just a few months. Two years and two kids later, Spears filed for divorce.
Federline is now 47 years old, but damn if that brief marriage nearly two decades back doesn’t take up the majority of ink in You Thought You Knew, his new memoir, which hit shelves Tuesday. Not only does the 228-page tome provide plenty of insight into what Federline thinks of his ex-wife’s past and current mental state, it’s a remarkable case study of he-said, she-said hypocrisy. Federline and ghostwriter Alex Holstein, editor-in-chief of boutique publisher Listenin, deliver a tale of a man who feels he’s been wronged by a woman, while engaging in some of the same behaviors he demonizes her for.
Federline told Vanity Fair that the book in which he accuses his ex-wife of doing hard drugs while breastfeeding their children, shares details of their intimate encounters, and openly questions whether her 13-year legal conservatorship should have been lifted, is in pursuit of a better life for Spears.
“I’m just trying to help,” he says. “This isn’t about hurting or bringing anybody down. It’s about trying to get to a place where it’s like, come on, there is still a path forward that involves you and the kids and people around you that love you, that want to bridge that gap.”
It’s OK when Kevin does it—for varying definitions of “it”—but not Britney. Spears published her own New York Times bestselling memoir, The Woman In Me, almost exactly two years ago. Federline makes appearances, though less prominently than the role she plays in his book. Federline says he has read her memoir, but he hesitated when asked if he felt it accurately depicted their time together.
“Look, I feel like she has the right to tell her story, and I don’t know how accurate all of it was, but I think a lot of people will stay silent on it because they just want to see her get better,” he tells VF. “Like I said, everybody has a right to tell their story.”
Spears has already publicly pushed back on Federline’s allegations. (He says he hasn’t heard from her directly: “I haven’t spoken to her in years. We haven’t been able to communicate like that for a long time.”) Before the book’s publication date, Spears wrote on X, “The constant gaslighting from ex-husband is extremely hurtful and exhausting. I have always pleaded and screamed to have a life with my boys.” She continued, “Relationships with teenage boys is complex. I have felt demoralized by this situation and have always asked and almost begged for them to be a part of my life.”
