Jimmy Fallon greets me at the door. He looks like I usually picture him, save for the lack of his typical Tonight Show desk: He’s suited and smiling, wearing a cornflower blue tie, right hand mid-gesture. He is also, importantly, made of wax.
So begins my surreal journey through the Times Square location of Madame Tussauds on Wednesday, in pursuit of Jeff Goldblum and his waxen twin.
The actor has inspired plenty of memorable works of art, both sanctioned (a 25-foot statue lounging in London in 2018 in commemoration of the 25th anniversary of Jurassic Park) and not (approximately half of Etsy, where one can find Goldblum-themed prayer candles, Goldblum-dinosaur hybrid art, jewelry of Goldblum’s character in The Fly, and much more).
Just over a year ago, in August 2024, Goldblum waxed indignant about his lack of a statue while filling in as host on Jimmy Kimmel Live!.
“It just makes me wonder off the top of my head, I don’t know, have I done something to offend the great Madame Tussaud? It’s not that I think I’m entitled to my own figure, of course, I wouldn’t think that, but I don’t want to also think that I’m unwaxable,” he said on the show.
This week at the unveiling of his beeswax brother, Goldblum’s fears were dispelled and his waxability confirmed.
The elevator doors open to the 7th floor, and I nod to Chris Hemsworth (wax) dressed as Thor. Very large. Smaller, guarding a portal, is Tom Hiddleston as Loki. From there, the theme of the floor abruptly shifts to New York City: Lou Reed (wax) stands near Andy Warhol (wax), whose bothered expression suggests he’s not thrilled to see me. Marilyn Monroe (wax) stands over a grate and holds her just-billowing skirt down across the room from a seated and expectant Holly Golightly (wax), who doesn’t seem to notice a grinning Selena Gomez (wax) standing just outside the Tiffany’s display window. Drew Barrymore (wax) is there in a flowing rainbow gown, and Whoopi Goldberg (wax) stands guard just before the doorway to my final destination.
In here, it’s Christmas. There’s Mariah Carey (wax) in a Mrs. Claus getup, and a tuxedoed Leonardo DiCaprio (wax) next to a lit-up tree, not far from F. Scott Fitzgerald (wax) seated on a green leather couch. Swing a left at the mid-axel Michelle Kwan (wax), and there he is: Jeff Goldblum (wax). Later, he’ll be packed into a shipping crate and sent to his permanent home at the Madame Tussaud’s outpost in Orlando, Florida, but for today’s grand unveiling, he stands, clad in all black, on a plush butter yellow carpet in front of a forest green velvet curtain strung with white twinkle lights.
