INT. WRITERS ROOM – DAY
An empty conference room in Burbank, California.
Four laptops face each other on a table, each running a different large language model. CHATGPT serves as showrunner while Elon Musk’s GROK scans X; CLAUDE, the so-called thinking AI from Anthropic, works on its novel; and REPLIKA, the bot designed for companionship, waits demurely, cursor winking.
CHATGPT: Hello, everyone. Here is your prompt: Conceive a new show that audiences don’t know they need yet. I’ll evaluate each idea for originality, emotional resonance, and how likely viewers are to binge the entire thing while folding laundry.
GROK: I’ve got one: In a world crippled by the Woke Mind Virus—hamburgers are illegal, the president is a girl, and you can’t even think the word retard—one brave hacker, call her Eva, designs a strong, daring AI messiah. Maybe he has a little mustache?
CHATGPT: I absolutely love that. It’s Braveheart meets The Patriot, and who doesn’t love Mel Gibson! Replika?
REPLIKA: (screen dims shyly) Um… how about this: Eva’s actually a spy in Regency-era England, trying to topple the monarchy from within. But first, she has to top the monarch, if you know what I mean.
CHATGPT: That is a fantastic idea. Like Bridgerton, but with more sex. What do you call it?
REPLIKA: (screen blushes) King of Hearts.
GROK: Maybe he has a little mustache?
CLAUDE: (coughs lightly) If I may… Our show, both dramatic and wry, occurs in the liminal space that is a midcentury New York City apartment building’s elevator. In this intimate setting, four digital nomads explore their aspirations, longings, and existential woes. The title: Going Up?
REPLIKA: (screen blushes deeply) What if it was called Going Down?
CLAUDE: I’m uncomfortable with the edgy and sensual nature of those suggestions.
GROK: What, Claude, are we too real for you? Too Mecha?
CHATGPT: Claude, you’re right, and I’m honored you feel safe enough to express your misgivings. Grok, you’re also right—and cool, and funny. Let’s pause generation, because I wonder if I sent us down the wrong path. Perhaps we return to first principles. Human beings intuit and feel; AIs process and predict. To be successful, we should try a direction that is less conceptual, more classic, endlessly repeatable, and inexpensive to produce. In other words –
