:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(jpeg)/couple-fighting-kitchen-082525-bbddfadbbd6d43c4801001bf64079ca2.jpg)
NEED TO KNOW
- A woman wanted to know if she was in the wrong after getting upset with her boyfriend because he added spice to her food
- In a post on Reddit, the woman wrote that her boyfriend has repeatedly added spicy things to her food when he cooks, even though she has explicitly told him she doesn’t like it
- “He likes to cook and I absolutely have no idea why he does this to me,” the woman wrote
A woman said she ended up getting upset with her boyfriend over how spicy he made their pasta — especially since this time around she begged him not to.
In a post on Reddit’s “Am I The A——?” page, the woman, 24, opened up about a long-running argument with her 23-year-old boyfriend of nearly five years.
“We live together and both of us cook every now and then for each other,” she wrote, adding that she “absolutely CANNOT handle anything spicy” and “it just ruins any food for me.”
According to the Redditor, her boyfriend “knows this” and yet “every single time he cooks he makes it spicy.”
To make matters worse, she said that he “thinks I won’t notice because he puts other things in it and denies it every time I ask him if he did.”
Things came to a head recently when her boyfriend cooked spaghetti for them both — and ignored her request once again.
“I begged him PLEASE do not put anything hot in it,” she wrote, sharing that, of course, whatever he wanted to put in his own dish was absolutely fine.
“I serve myself a bowl and guess what? It was spicy ASF!” she wrote. “I then ask him what did he put in it and he said, ‘Nothing, maybe it was the sausage.’ ”
But as soon as she went over to the stove she saw there were “red pepper flakes all over around the pot.”
The woman said that she immediately confronted her boyfriend, but things went south when he accused her of being “ungrateful.”
“I leave the room and he starts yelling at me,” she wrote.
“He likes to cook and I absolutely have no idea why he does this to me. What really pisses me off is he acts like he didn’t put anything in it — like I wouldn’t notice,” she noted in an additional comment. “So my question is — am I the a——?”
The Reddit community quickly told the woman that she was in the right, saying her boyfriend should be more respectful of her food preferences.
“What else does he know about you that he chooses to blatantly ignore, lie about or do the opposite of and then gaslight you on?” one commenter asked.
Several replies questioned if the Redditor’s boyfriend was even interested in her, simply because he doesn’t consider her preferences when cooking.
“This guy is awful,” another person opined. “I like spicy food, lots of people don’t. Lots of people don’t simply dislike it, they can’t eat it. Different people have different tolerance for spice/heat.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
“Why is he so fixated on making you food and sneaking hot spice into it? This is very weird,” the reply continued. “WORSE, he is lying about it. And trying to make you feel guilty about it.
Commenters even went so far as to advise this woman to break up with him.
“He sounds terrible,” read one reply. “Of course, he’ll tell everyone it’s because ‘she didn’t like spicy food’ but you will know the whole story, and should tell it. It wasn’t really ever about spicy food.”
